I became a personal trainer because from a young age exercise and nutrition gave me a feeling of confidence. Growing up I was insecure, shy and lost. I tried to mask these deficiencies with ego. I portrayed myself as knowing everything, when in reality I knew nothing. I was never the smartest kid, heck I had a speech impediment that followed me throughout my childhood. It wasn't like I couldn't speak or anything, it just made me self conscious about talking in front of others. I was always afraid of mispronouncing a word and embarrassing myself. As a matter of fact, in the 3rd grade, I got called on to read a chapter from my biology book. I remember my stomach sinking when my teacher called my name. I began to read, and everything was going well until I came across the word, “organism”. Instead of saying organism, I pronounced it as “orgasm”. I still remember the teacher’s blank stare on her face. Luckily, most of the kids had no idea what happened so it wasn't too embarrassing, but looking back, it is quite amusing hearing a little kid say the word orgasm.
Throughout most of my childhood and even into college, I dreaded public speaking and talking to strangers. My heart would beat a million miles per hour and my body would shake anytime I had to give a presentation. To say the least, I suffered from anxiety and feared rejection. This anxiety made me hate not having control, but exercise was the one thing I could control, it gave me a sense of security. It showed me that with hard work and discipline you can change the outcomes of life. Exercise gives us proof that it is possible to change your body and mind. It is possible to become a better version of yourself, but it requires hard work. It requires you to take extreme ownership of your life and your actions. It is important that you stop worrying about everyone else's life and focus on your own. Stop judging others so harshly and save that energy to judge yourself. Everyday is a new battle against yourself and the goals you set. Regardless if you achieve them or not, it is the practice of goal setting that is most important. We have all experienced this first hand in the gym, you aren't going to set a personal record every single day nor will you lose ten pounds of fat overnight. Training is not about setting records, it is about building discipline.
I became a coach because there are millions of people just like me who are afraid to take that first step. Regardless of how successful someone seems, we are all going through our own journey of struggles. Let's face it, we don't select our parents and we don't determine our genes. We don't have a say in the body we inherit nor do we decide the environment we live in. Yeah, life can really suck sometimes if you let it, but life can be pretty fucking awesome once you accept your fate. For me, I am not going to let my genes or my parents determine my fate. I am in control of my decisions and reactions. I have the final say in everything and no one can take that from me. This body and mind was given to me as a gift and I intend to make the best out of it. But most people don't see it this way. They get stuck in their ways and think they can't change the way they are. They let other people's thoughts and comments kill their dreams. However, they have it wrong. You are responsible for how you feel and no one on this planet can make you feel inadequate or insecure. It is never too late to make a change. But change requires patience, discipline, struggle and action.
Trust me, change is scary, uncomfortable, and isn't always fun in the beginning. I experienced this firsthand when I went to school in North Carolina or when I lived in Thailand and then again when I moved to California. In each situation the beginning sucked and I questioned if I made the right decision in my life. But in each situation it was always worth it in the end. I have always learned the most from the uncomfortable situations in life. And isn't the same true when you do a workout for the first time? You are sore and can barely move for the next couple of days. But if you come back and do the same workout, it doesn't seem as bad as before. That is life in a nutshell, life is all about repetitions.